Chapter 7: Is It Worth It?

Chapter 7: Is It Worth It?

Xu Qiao felt somewhat weak but had not lost consciousness. The words of the others reached her ears clearly, and she found herself agreeing with the squad leader. Those who lived in peaceful times might never truly understand the cruelty of war. On a real battlefield, no one will look after you; to do so would mean distraction, and a single moment of distraction could cost your life. Perhaps no one here understood this better than Xu Qiao. Her past experiences had taught her that if a soldier isn’t strong enough, the battlefield offers only a deadly exchange of lives.

After resting for a while, her strength seemed to return, and with the help of others, she finally stood up. Taking a deep breath, she found the strength to speak. “I’m fine, thank you.” Hesitating for a moment, she continued, “The squad leader is right. Since we wear this uniform, we are soldiers. There’s no distinction between male and female soldiers. It’s only by enduring hardship that good soldiers are made.” The others stared at her blankly for a while before Yin Li finally spoke, “Squad leader, do you think she’s lost her mind?”

Though she had faced many difficulties that day—enduring the doubtful gazes of so many—she still felt a sense of happiness. Having come to this realization, she no longer cared about their opinions. At that moment, it was clear that squad leader Wu was not entirely unfeeling; seeing her condition, Wu granted her half a day off. Xu Qiao understood then that changing their perceptions wouldn’t be accomplished with a few words.

Once dinner was prepared in advance, everyone glanced at the squad leader with expressions that silently asked what kind of soldier she had brought. “After what happened today, I’ve truly come to understand,” Xu Qiao said, pausing briefly, “Life is lived once. If all you know is indulgence and waste, no matter how much money you have, what meaning does it hold?”

Hearing such words from her, everyone froze, staring at her in silent disbelief. When Yin Li delivered the meal personally prepared by squad leader Wu to Xu Qiao’s dorm, even he found it somewhat surreal. Xu Qiao could see through it all and sighed inwardly, wondering what she had done to be so universally alienated. She said no more, lowering her head to tidy her belongings.

However, while the cooks had granted her leave, the communications squad was unaware. When the squad leader returned with the others and saw Xu Qiao resting in bed, their expressions immediately shifted. Seeing her glance over, Cheng Yifei’s face grew awkward as she offered a strained explanation: “I was just asking—you were assigned to the cooks’ squad, right? Normally, wouldn’t you be expected to live there?”

Thinking of these things, a bitter feeling welled in her heart. Xu Qiao’s unusual behavior had cast a strange atmosphere over the cooks’ squad; none dared to imagine that she was now making an effort. Just as she regained some strength and sat up at the bedside, a few comrades with stern faces appeared.

“I want to do something for myself, to leave something behind, and also to help others,” she said. Even if she hadn’t truly changed, putting on the appearance was better than nothing. Yet these female soldiers, whose emotions were plainly visible with no hidden agenda, could not conceal their feelings.

During lunch, they went to the mess hall and saw Xu Qiao again. Though they hadn’t witnessed her working, she was at least behaving properly—far better than before. Their expressions softened as they approached her. “Sorry, I misunderstood you earlier,” they apologized. Moreover, seeing her moving towards improvement, they were more surprised and pleased than suspicious.

The military camp, so different from her past life, made Xu Qiao feel out of place but also filled her with curiosity and hope. Unaware that the cooks’ squad had grumbled about her behind her back when she explained to the communications squad, Xu Qiao sighed deeply. “Squad leader, whether you believe it or not, I am truly trying to change.” Fearing disbelief, she added quickly, “If you doubt me, you can ask them at dinner. You can’t fake something like this.”

Once rest time ended, the cooks’ squad resumed their busy work. Everyone in the squad felt the same way, though only Cheng Yifei openly wore her hostility. The others were more courteous. Soldiers could indeed lead such peaceful lives—daily training and work without war or gunfire—this was the reality of the military in peacetime.

Those female soldiers who had doubted Xu Qiao’s rest now genuinely believed her. They marveled at her sudden change and also thought squad leader Wu, despite her stern exterior, was caring after all. No longer needing to battle with peeling potatoes, Xu Qiao even gained half a day of rest.

Yet, less than a day later, seeing her again resting in the dorm, their expressions soured once more. Xu Qiao realized Wu’s fierce reputation was well-earned; was it really a good thing for a cook squad leader to be so feared? She thought this and quickly explained, “It was my own weakness. I trained with them today and got exhausted after running just two kilometers. Squad leader Wu told me to rest.”

“What’s wrong with you? Wu doesn’t give leave easily,” they said. “The cooks’ squad has only one dorm, all male soldiers. Where do you expect her to stay?” Guan Yuqi nodded at her, “Use your head.”

The life they longed for but never experienced, Xu Qiao saw and even truly felt it. She wasn’t just avoiding work; she was physically unable to continue. Just moving normally was difficult, and if she tried to help, she’d need someone to look after her. How could they not be resentful? They’d rather she stay far away.

Seeing her deliberately trying to lighten the mood, Xu Qiao smiled. “The squad leader is right; there really isn’t a place for me with the cooks. So I came back here. Please don’t dislike me.” And so, amidst suspicion and shock, Xu Qiao spent her first day in the military camp.

Yet, oddly, her memories of these people were vague—was it because she didn’t take them seriously, or because of memory loss in this area? She simply couldn’t recall the source of her hostility. Missing one person made the lunch less chaotic, oddly saving some energy.

Though they disliked her, they hadn’t forgotten her. “You came back to rest?” Cheng Yifei asked in surprise. “Aren’t you supposed to report to the cooks’ squad?”

She had seen it with her own eyes—those goals for which so many had sacrificed, bled, and fought lay before her. Fortunately, Guan Yuqi was here to smooth things over, preventing the atmosphere from becoming too awkward.

Her words surpassed everyone’s understanding. In their minds, Xu Qiao was just a wealthy second generation who only knew indulgence. Ambition was nonexistent! Seeing their expressions, even with her dulled reactions, she realized what they were thinking. Taking a deep breath, she decided not to bother with them anymore. Time would reveal people’s true hearts.

She had witnessed it herself: those fallen comrades, friends her age who no longer had a future and could never see the fruits of their struggle again. Many of them had left no names behind but had secured this era of peace for future generations.

Was it worth it? To some, perhaps not—those who only cared for themselves in times of national crisis believed sacrifice meaningless. But looking at the present lives of these soldiers in peacetime, it was undeniably worth it.

(End of chapter)