Chapter 30

"Look at me. Do you think I am a curse, or am I Takizawa Sei—?!"

As those words faded—

Takizawa Sei woke up in his bed.

He bolted upright, gasping for air as if waking from a nightmare. He scanned his surroundings, realizing he was on the sofa in the common room. The morning sun slanted in, casting a warm glow, while the air held a crisp, chilly freshness.

Suguru Geto, who was sitting across from him petting a cat, paused. His expression shifted slightly. "...Were you crying?"

Those jewel-like, emerald eyes were shimmering with moisture.

Takizawa Sei often remarked that Gojo Satoru’s eyes were beautiful, never realizing that his own were the subject of quiet discussion. His peers often said that Takizawa’s eyes overflowed with an absolute, vibrant vitality—when he looked at you, you couldn't help but be drawn in. The most fitting description they could all agree on was this: you would involuntarily forget what you were about to say, compelled to return that same profound gaze.

"Suguru?"

Takizawa blinked, the tumultuous emotions in his heart yet to settle. He stared blankly for a moment, gripping the blanket draped over him, before a sudden realization hit. His gaze turned piercing as he looked at Geto. "I’m back? Did I break the technique?"

"Yes."

Takizawa buried his face in his hands, frustrated. "Ah, why did it have to be now!"

"It seems something happened between you two."

"Where’s Satoru? Where is Gojo Satoru?!"

"Using his full name... so, quite a lot must have happened."

Having been forcibly pulled out of the conversation before receiving any answer from Gojo, Takizawa felt a lump of frustration stuck in his throat. He shot a sullen glare at the other culprit. The black-haired youth, still petting the cat, stiffened and looked away, as if struck by a sudden sense of guilt.

"Suguru, explain," Takizawa said coldly.

His tone was clearly angry, yet it didn't feel oppressive, as he had no intention of actually fighting them.

Geto kept his eyes on the cat, refusing to look at him. "There’s nothing to explain. We failed."

Takizawa raised his voice. "And you *wanted* to succeed?"

He pointed at himself. "Look at what you’re doing—are you trying to exorcise me? Gradually making my life stable, making me feel satisfied and at peace? Are you trying to fulfill my regrets? How many regrets could I possibly have? Have you two spent so much time together that your brilliant minds have collided and canceled each other out?!"

Takizawa was so agitated he was nearly rambling. "One moment I’m back at nineteen, the next I’m remembering everything—I haven't even had a moment to breathe because I suddenly realized you two have been trapped in your own heads this whole time—"

How rare.

Geto lowered his eyes, his thoughts wandering. Sei looked truly furious. He rarely ever lost his temper, except for that one time when Satoru was nearly killed by a Heavenly Restriction.

Takizawa hopped off the sofa. "How do you expect me to feel? I’m incredibly pissed off."

This was the first time he had truly tasted the bitterness of being kept in the dark. Takizawa felt both heartache and amusement. He had thought his return would bring them joy and comfort; he had thought they would have plenty of time to finish what was left undone. He hadn't expected that they would take a barely-healing wound, tear it open, and expose the bleeding interior, all while trying to press their palms over it to keep anyone from noticing.

After taking several deep breaths, Takizawa tried to calm his racing heart. He had never been one to show negative emotions to those close to him—the examiners at the Transmigration Bureau had jokingly called him an "emotion regulation machine" for his superior self-control.

But this time, Takizawa found he couldn't suppress the restlessness in his chest. He paced around the common room, ran to the door thinking of asking Shoko if she was involved too, then remembered she was likely still sleeping. He ran to the window, wanting to jump out and find Satoru, but was held back by his own status. Finally, he ran back and glared at Geto, letting all his pent-up questions spill out.

Watching him, Geto slowly leaned his forehead into his hand, his hair slipping through his fingers. He looked troubled, utterly exhausted, his expression more wretched than tears.

Takizawa froze.

He sighed and knelt on the sofa, pulling the youth into a hug.

The cat, Soba, unable to stand the pressure, wiggled out from between them. Geto reacted instinctively, wrapping his arms around Takizawa’s waist.

"..."

"Sorry, my tone was too harsh just now..." Takizawa pressed against his shoulder, his voice muffled. "It’s not that I don't understand your reasoning, I just..."

Just thinking about the mindset they must have been in when they decided to "exorcise" him...

"You were so willing to let me go," Takizawa said, his voice gritted. "You were just too willing."

They had actually pushed him away after he had finally managed to return.

So what if he was a vengeful spirit? A vengeful spirit was still a beautiful, non-desolate thought—something that could stay by their side forever, just like the real him.

Geto closed his eyes.

He hunched his shoulders, as if trying to shrink his entire being into the embrace.

They failed...

Why did Satoru fail?

...

Forget it...

Failure is fine.

If they failed... then they couldn't be blamed anymore.

Takizawa patted his back gently. He was good at being clingy, but Geto seemed uncomfortable, and after a moment, he restrainedly pushed Takizawa away.

Takizawa sat beside him, the sofa sinking under the weight of another person. His gaze was earnest. "What do I have to say for you to believe that I am completely, truly back? I didn't make any strange Vows, nor was I controlled by anyone. Or did you read some textbook definition about my condition... Ah, right, you two are the textbooks of the Jujutsu world now. Your knowledge is already at the ceiling."

The black-haired youth watched him quietly, a gentle smile in his eyes. "There’s no way."

"Huh?"

"Because even if we believed it, we couldn't convince ourselves."

Takizawa pinched his cheek. "Talk properly. Listen to the illogical nonsense you're spouting."

Geto chuckled twice. It wasn't his imagination; Takizawa felt he seemed more relieved than before, the laughter carrying a lightness that felt both familiar and distant. "I’ve given up, for now... but Satoru might not."

"What on earth was that technique you guys used?"

"Just a technique to disrupt memory, a kind of gentle spiritual release?" Geto caught the white long-haired cat as it jumped back into his lap, giving Takizawa a look of helpless resignation that made him want to hit him. "But as you can see, we failed completely. Satoru was called away for an emergency mission at dawn. Although I don't know how long you spent in your dream... here, you just slept soundly for one night."

Takizawa grabbed a cushion and slumped back on the sofa, listless. "I can't take it. I had an argument with him... well, not really an argument, but I just realized he’s so—stubborn. He doesn't believe I am me."

"…Because…" Geto’s tongue flicked over his lips as he uttered a word they rarely used in their daily lives. "Sei, Satoru loves you... more than you think."

Love.

Takizawa froze.

He stared at a spot in the air, then scoffed. "Why tease me at a time like this?"

"It’s the truth."

"Of course I know it’s the truth."

"You might be used to Satoru being close to you, but to us, that closeness feels a bit different." Geto felt like a traitor revealing his best friend's secrets. "I have a question, Sei."

"What?"

"What were you like when you said you’d be with Satoru forever?"

Takizawa was confused. He thought hard; that was back when he had just started as a naive rookie. A fresh tool-man who didn't know the depth of his missions, spouting nonsense. He hadn't been bothered by the cold shoulder from his targets, nor had he felt low. He had simply believed that one day, they would go from strangers to acquaintances, and eventually to inseparable companions.

Takizawa stiffened, then, as if going all out, cleared his throat to adjust his state before performing for Geto.

The expression on the green-eyed youth’s face became vibrant, his eyes and brows bright and daring. He smiled with unhesitating certainty, his words clear and sharp.

"Satoru, why are you listening to the nonsense those people say? I will never betray you, never leave you. I can prove it to you! There is absolutely no one in this world who loves you more than I do. If there is, then it must be after I'm gone, because I’m going to be with you for the rest of my life!"

"..."

After he finished, Takizawa broke character immediately, slumping back limply. "That’s it. I thought I’d made so many oaths that you’d be used to it. They say you shouldn't bottle things up, that not speaking your mind is a big taboo! ...I didn't expect Satoru to take it as a binding restriction." He said, dejected, "So when I brought it up again, Satoru’s mood must have been—incredibly complicated."

"And also..." he muttered, "I feel like Satoru feels... guilty toward me? Is that it? Why..."

"...Yeah." Geto regained his composure. "Are you hungry? Want some somen?"

The topic shifted to something mundane, and Takizawa whined, "I’ll eat. Is Suguru making it?"

"Yeah, consider it my apology. Stop being mad at me."

"I’m not mad at you." Takizawa looked up at Geto, who had stood up. "My brain cells are fried. I have to think about how to coax Satoru later."

He buried his face in the cushion, leaving only his lively eyes exposed. "I think he’s the one who knows least how to face me."

Ha, coward. I’m going to live a good life.

To hell with exorcism, to hell with "rest in peace." Screw that!

Takizawa Sei has nothing left, just a heart that dares to chase love! Even as a cursed spirit, he dares to bind himself to the strongest human alive.

Takizawa let out a frustrated breath and shouted, "Suguru, I want an egg! Two of them!"