Chapter 23

"Here."

Takizawa Sei handed Matsuda Jinpei a small, neatly wrapped item.

"What is it?"

"An apology."

The green-eyed young man wore his first look of guilty hesitation since they had met. "I didn't miss our appointment on purpose—I know that sounds like a useless excuse, but my apology is sincere."

"..." Matsuda Jinpei stared at the package, guessing, "Is it sunglasses?"

"Yes. Since I noticed you don't really wear other accessories, and besides, you look incredibly cool in sunglasses," Takizawa Sei said. "Do you like them? If they aren't to your taste, we have cufflinks, watches, or bow ties as backups."

"...You shouldn't just blurt out what you're planning to give as a gift, and those things are all very expensive, aren't they?"

"Are they?" Takizawa Sei thought back to the years he spent chasing after Dazai Osamu, recalling all the things he had hurled at him. "Isn't there a truth to the idea that there are some things you're reluctant to buy for yourself, but once you imbue them with meaning, they feel exceptionally worth it?"

Matsuda Jinpei muttered, "What kind of truth is that?"

They stood on a quiet street corner; Matsuda's colleagues had already left. It wasn't that Takizawa hadn't considered finding a place to sit, but he couldn't leave Gojo Satoru’s line of sight. Putting aside whether Gojo would even agree, he was terrified of being snatched away and killed if he let his guard down for a second. If he died, it wouldn't be much of an issue for him, but it would drive Gojo Satoru to agonizing madness.

So, Takizawa Sei gestured for Matsuda Jinpei to sit on the rocking chairs in front of an ice cream shop, which happened to be directly across from the bookstore where Gojo Satoru was.

Incidentally, the rocking chairs were painted a fresh, cartoonish pink.

Matsuda Jinpei stared at Takizawa’s leg. "What happened to your leg...?"

"Took a tumble, it’s nothing," Takizawa Sei said, gently rocking the chair. He didn't use much force, yet the chair swayed rhythmically because the person beside him was matching his pace. "Even though you guessed what I got you, please, open it in front of me."

It was an odd request, but Matsuda Jinpei complied. His eyes widened in surprise; he held the sunglasses up to his face and sighed, "Cool."

Takizawa Sei squinted smugly and gave a thumbs-up. "Right? My taste in sunglasses is top-tier!"

He had practiced entirely on Gojo Satoru!

But Gojo Satoru was such a model, he looked good in basically every pair. During the phase when Gojo was most obsessed with sunglasses, he had tried every style imaginable, eventually settling on round lenses. When Takizawa once asked him why, he gave a particularly cheesy answer: "Because you can see my eyes from the side." He had even accompanied the line with a rapid-fire wink beauty attack.

The round sunglasses were rimless with very thin temples.

"Everything alright at the hospital?"

"Yeah, the bomb couldn't be defused in time, so we had to let it detonate in an open area."

Takizawa Sei observed Matsuda Jinpei.

There were faint bloodshot traces in the young man's dark eyes. Perhaps due to the adrenaline surge, he seemed quite animated, but Takizawa could easily tell—"How many days has it been since you slept?"

"What?"

"Do you need me to buy you some sleeping pills? Your line of work is so dangerous—even if you can't sleep, you should just knock yourself out with a club," Takizawa said firmly. "Your face literally says you could pass out at any second."

"What nonsense, I'm perfectly fine."

"You’ve been acting all nervous since November started, clearly anxious and distracted... even though I haven't spent that much time with you lately."

"..."

Matsuda Jinpei curled his fingers.

Under Takizawa's gaze, he lowered his eyelids and said in a low voice, "...If you spent two years unable to catch the criminal who killed your closest friend, you probably wouldn't be doing much better than me."

It was as if something invisible had collapsed.

Takizawa Sei heard him tremble as he recounted everything. The "he" whose name he never dared to speak—it felt as if, by just uttering those syllables in front of Takizawa, Matsuda might lose all control and fall apart.

Takizawa opened his mouth, suddenly finding his throat too tight to make a sound.

He reached out awkwardly, wanting to offer a hug but feeling a slight tremor of hesitation. After a few seconds, however, Takizawa realized that the fact the other man could say these things in front of him meant he was worthy of hearing them.

So, the young man lunged forward and threw an arm around Matsuda Jinpei's shoulder, taking him so by surprise that Matsuda nearly bit his tongue.

"...What are you doing?"

"Wait here."

Takizawa Sei dropped that line, ran quickly into the ice cream shop, and returned half a minute later with two cones.

"..."

"Eating something sweet makes you feel better," Takizawa said, handing him a cone while silently unwrapping his own. "I need it, too."

He said listlessly, "Don't you cry. If you cry, I'll end up crying even harder than you."

The emotions Matsuda Jinpei had been brewing came to a halt. "I wasn't crying."

"I'm just telling you in advance, because I won't be able to help it."

"..."

Matsuda Jinpei let out a laugh.

"You're so sensitive... It’s been a long time; I'm not even that sad anymore."

"That’s a lie," Takizawa Sei said, turning his face away. "I just suddenly realized that I still haven't deeply understood... the concept of loss."

***

What exactly had Gojo Satoru felt when he died?

After he left, whenever Gojo thought of him, how did he manage to swallow all that unspeakable bitterness?

Takizawa Sei had imagined it; of course, he had. He had fantasized about it countless times, but in the end, they were just scenarios. He had always been the one to leave early, and not a single one of his promises had been kept. He was supposed to be a "partner-type tool," meant to help the task target grow through love, but Takizawa felt that the blow of losing that love was the most profound impact of all.

...He really was a derelict of duty.

When he returned to the bookstore, that thought lingered in Takizawa's mind.

Walking past the bookshelves, the first thing he saw was Gojo Satoru’s profile, his eyes cast downward.

The cold, distant child who once stood in the snow was now bathed in sunlight, yet he still carried that same sense of detachment from the world.

Had they been talking about something?

The atmosphere felt off.

Takizawa Sei placed the bag of cones on the table. "I'm done talking."

Geto Suguru laughed on the spot. "You'll get a stomachache."

"Satoru won't, but you might," Takizawa said, plopping down. "I remember clearly now: Satoru has already learned the Reverse Cursed Technique and keeps it active at all times."

Gojo Satoru rummaged through the bag, careful not to make any noise. "That’s all the talking you did? It hasn't been that long. Weren't you two having a heart-to-heart?"

His tone was normal, yet Takizawa heard a subtle hint of sarcasm. "We talked about some heavy topics; my mood is quite complex right now."

Gojo Satoru let out a soft "Hmph," so quiet that Takizawa thought he just had a gap in his teeth.

Geto Suguru’s gaze flickered between the two of them before he suddenly asked, "Who was that person?"

"A friend," Takizawa said, blinking. "But let's put that aside; I have something I want to ask you both."

"What?"

"What happened after I died?"

Gojo Satoru paused. "Why are you only thinking to ask about that now?"

"Initially, I thought that since it was the past, it didn't matter, but now I feel... I think it's better if I know," Takizawa said, looking at Geto. "Besides, since Suguru went down the path of 'fighting evil with evil,' this future seems a bit skewed. I thought..." His voice trailed off.

"Thought what?"

"Thought that, at the very least, you would always be together."

He thought that after he left, at least Gojo would have Suguru by his side.

"Actually, it's not much different now," Gojo Satoru said. "As long as our goals are the same, we aren't really separated."

That was true.

Takizawa Sei looked at the two of them.

When Geto Suguru and Gojo Satoru had first become close, Takizawa had been away on a mission.

Unable to meet, Gojo Satoru had called him directly, his first words a sticky, whiny complaint: "Sei~ That guy Suguru is super annoying! He has this really disgusting sense of 'righteousness'~!"

It was the first time Takizawa had heard someone else's name from Gojo Satoru without any negative emotion attached to it. He was ecstatic. "Then why don't you just fight him?"

"...I didn't win."

"Oh~"

Gojo Satoru was incensed. "What's with that tone? I didn't lose, either!"

Takizawa Sei was deeply moved. "I guess coming to the technical college was the right choice. There are few kids here from the jujutsu sorcerer families; those with roots in ordinary society are just so much cuter." He chattered on excitedly, "And I noticed he's quite curious about us—the kind of look that says, 'What kind of bizarre pair is this?' If he’s interested in us, it means our personalities are compatible!"

Gojo Satoru seemed to fall silent for a moment. "...Why do you have absolutely no sense of danger?"

Takizawa was baffled. "...Huh?"

*Click.*

Young Master Gojo hung up the phone.

When Takizawa returned from his mission, Gojo Satoru refused to make eye contact, even when staring at a wall. Takizawa looked at Geto Suguru, who just shrugged and raised his eyebrows in a gesture of helplessness.

Recalling the past always made him sentimental. Takizawa rested his chin in his hand, watching the two of them, who were now tacitly refusing to speak first. "Did you two have a fight? Over what? Did Suguru really become a curse user? ...Neither of you is talking; is it that hard to say? It couldn't possibly be because of me, could it?"

"Why couldn't it?"

Takizawa was stunned by the emotion behind that retort. He sensed that Geto Suguru was secretly angry—perhaps at him, or perhaps because the memory of the terrible cause brought all those feelings back to that moment. Takizawa spoke instinctively, "Because I... I hate curse users the most, and my death had nothing to do with Suguru."

His death had nothing to do with Geto Suguru at the time; how could Geto’s future have been changed by him?

The black-haired young man stared at him deeply, his gaze filled with a sense of resignation as he looked away. "...Sei, you should really have a good talk with Satoru."

Takizawa Sei: "...?"

Geto Suguru stood up. "I've been out long enough; I'm heading back."

His gaze, seemingly heavy with something viscous, lingered on Gojo Satoru. "Satoru, I will help you with that matter."

Takizawa watched him leave in a daze, waving as the other man nodded in farewell.

It wasn't until Geto Suguru’s figure vanished into the street that Takizawa turned his head in indignation, looking at Gojo Satoru, who had finished off the better part of the bag of cones.

"You two are bullying me."

Gojo Satoru: "Don't talk nonsense."