Chapter Three: Losing Control

Hearing Yunshuang say this, Erya did not look happy. Instead, she wore a hesitant expression, opened her small mouth, and stammered, “Mother... Mother...” but couldn't find the words.

After all, her mother had said she hadn't had enough to eat yet.

But Yunshuang had already deftly picked up a fish and placed it on the chopping board, reaching for the knife at the edge, its blade already chipped in several places.

These items had been left behind by the military household who fled earlier. Though worn, they were still usable.

Her parents had divorced when she was young, and later both had remarried. Yunshuang always felt out of place no matter where she went. After entering university, she simply chose to live on her own.

Because of this, she had become adept at all kinds of life skills.

With practiced hands, Yunshuang cleaned and sliced the fish. She poured a little oil into the washed pot, and when the oil was hot, laid in the fish. With a sizzle, the air immediately filled with the rich aroma of frying fish.

Erya had never tasted anything so delicious in her life, let alone ever having had her fill. Instantly, her mouth watered, her little stomach growled even louder, and she stood on tiptoe, trying desperately to see how her mother was cooking.

When the fish was golden and crisp on both sides, Yunshuang scooped a few ladles of clean water from the tank outside and poured them into the pot, covering it with the lid. Once the water came to a boil, she tossed in the cleaned mushrooms to cook together.

Finally, she added a pinch of coarse salt for seasoning, and a bowl of fragrant, steaming fish and mushroom soup was ready!

After that, Yunshuang steamed two taros. When everything was prepared, she served a bowl of fish soup to herself and Erya, cut one taro in half for them, and set aside the other one for Gou Dan, who was still busy outside.

Erya had been trying to keep a straight face, wanting to say she wasn’t hungry and that her mother should eat, but as she saw the bowl of creamy white fish soup set before her, all her words vanished. Her little mouth formed an O of astonishment. “Mother, why is this soup... why is it white?”

How amazing! It wasn’t like the soups her brother used to make!

Yunshuang smiled at her and said, “Try it and see if you like it. I let it cool for a while, so it shouldn’t be too hot now.”

Still a child, Erya immediately picked up the bowl and took a sip. Her eyes sparkled. “It’s delicious—so delicious!”

Yunshuang looked at her thin, gaunt face, feeling a pang of sorrow. “Then have some more.”

To Yunshuang, the soup was quite ordinary, lacking scallion, ginger, garlic, and even a dash of cooking wine to dispel the fishy smell. It still tasted a bit muddy.

But to this child, it was already the greatest delicacy.

Mother and daughter were quietly eating their belated lunch when suddenly there came the sound of hurried footsteps outside. Soon, a small, thin boy with finely drawn features ran in. Seeing the pair at the kitchen table eating lunch, he seemed stunned.

Yunshuang stood up and greeted him with a smile. “Gou Dan, you’re back? I saved two bowls of soup and a taro for you...”

“How could you eat all our food!” Gou Dan suddenly burst out, gritting his teeth, his voice sharp. “We barely have anything left as it is. Did you think about what we’ll eat tomorrow? Or the day after?”

Erya’s hand trembled and she quickly set down her bowl, scrambling down from her chair. “Brother, it’s not mother’s fault. I... I didn’t tell her we shouldn’t eat the food. I was just thinking, mother is sick and needs to eat more...”

“Erya, it’s not your fault! I know mother is sick and needs to eat, but... we really have nothing left!” Gou Dan, seeing he’d frightened his sister, looked flustered, but in the end, he was not yet six. His eyes reddened with anger and injustice. “Mother can’t help with anything. Erya and I have to do everything ourselves and look after her too! I’ve really done my best, but this afternoon I could only find a single small taro. What are we supposed to do tomorrow?

Why... why can’t we have a capable mother like other children?”

Erya was so scared she dared not approach him, muttering, “Brother...”

Yunshuang simply watched the agitated boy before her in silence.

In truth, she had noticed Erya’s hesitation while cooking and could easily guess the reason behind her expression.

She just hadn’t expected Gou Dan’s outburst to be so intense.

These years, the original mother had been lost in her sorrow, leaving all the family’s burdens on this child’s shoulders—far too much pressure for him to bear.

When his anger seemed spent, Yunshuang crouched down, looked him in the eye, and spoke softly, “I’m sorry for eating your food without your permission.”

Gou Dan froze, staring at her in disbelief.

“But I was too hungry. Don’t worry, we won’t go hungry. Starting tomorrow, I’ll go out with you to look for food. Will that be all right?”

He stared at her for a long while, eyes unblinking until they grew sore, then suddenly snapped back and took a step back, gritting his teeth. “You’re lying! You... you said that before, but all you did was cry and get sick! You spent all our money on your illness! I don’t believe you!”

Clearly, the original mother’s trust had long since fallen below zero in their hearts.

Yunshuang was in no hurry to convince him. She stood up, smiled, and said, “Then just watch and see if I’m lying or not. Come and eat. Fish soup doesn’t taste good when it’s cold.”

With that, she turned to the stove and ladled a bowl of fish soup for Gou Dan.

He looked utterly stunned.

Before, when he said such things, his mother would always start crying or leave silently.

But this time, she wasn’t sad, wasn’t angry, and even smiled, inviting him to drink the soup...

Seeing her brother calm down a little, Erya quickly skipped over and gently tugged his hand. “Brother, mother’s soup is really good! Come and try it. She said you worked hard today and kept two bowls just for you...”

But perhaps his pent-up emotions had finally burst forth and couldn’t be reined in. Gou Dan bit his lip hard and replied coldly, “I don’t want it! You two drink it yourselves!”

“Brother!”

Yunshuang paused halfway through ladling soup, glanced at him without a word, then poured the soup back into the pot. “All right, then you can have it when you want. Your sister and I are already full. If you don’t drink it, the soup will just have to be thrown away.”

If she couldn’t handle a little boy, she thought, she’d have lived two lives for nothing.

Gou Dan’s eyes widened in shock.

Throw it away? How could she?

Yunshuang let him stew in his dilemma and called out, “Erya, come help mother.”

She needed to take stock of the family’s belongings.

There might not be much, but she needed to understand their situation before planning the next step.